Recently I attended a symposium in Europe on erotic writing, held at the prestigious Teufeliche Institute in Bonn. Again and again I heard the same clichés repeated ad nausea about the differences in writing erotic material for men and women. The common belief is that women want long flowery passages and complex characters and men just wanted simple sex scenes with lots of graphic and explicit action. Not true! I know many of my female readers love the juiciest and most detailed descriptions of sexual acts and that many of my male readers like characters that do more than just tear off each others clothes and get to it within the first two paragraphs.
My own approach, or at least what I try to do, is to provide a good mixture of both, because after all good sex without a good story is nothing more than a blow-by-blow description of a physical act without any emotional overtones – which are really what makes any sexual encounter exciting, right? In other words, everyone loves a good quickie but passion comes from the burning emotional desire and gratification that physical love delivers. And of course we all want that shattering climax that the completion of our characters interaction provides!
In other words, without the steak there is no sizzle!